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Moving Classic Smut

30 Mar 2016

My Vintage Porn Collection Is Making A Move

My Vintage Porn Collection Is Making A Move

”This Classic Porn Isn't Moving Anywhere”- Photo Courtesy of Private Classics

They say that marriage is about compromise. That sometimes you have to give something up to make your marriage stronger. And today, I am being asked to give up my stash of classic porn magazines from the 60s, 70s and 80s. That sucks but at least I still have access to my Private Classics porn membership. My wife can't take that away from me, right?

Okay, truth be told, my wife isn't asking me to get rid of my porn collection. She's only asking that I move it out to the garage. She says that she needs the closet space and I guess I can see her point. After all, my porn collection spans 3 ancient cardboard boxes and must weigh in excess of 200 pounds. That's a full grown man of pussy pictures. It's quite a formidable collection, if I do say so myself.

How did I amass such an epic collection of classic porn, you ask? Well, it's quite simple. You see, I've been collecting porn for quite a long time. Ever since I found my first box of porn behind the rectory of a local church. I was just a young lad back then but I clearly remember my excitement at seeing things I couldn't even imagine seeing. In that box was all kinds of nasty stuff. Playboys, Penthouses, Cherry magazines and High Society magazines. Everything a young mind could use to set him on the path of a porn blogger. Tits, asses and pussies—plus a whole lot of dirty cartoons and yes, the occasional article.

It is a collection that I still own too. In fact, I not only have it but have added to it over the years. For some reason, people would always give me their old porn magazines. I would get them as presents, when people were cleaning out their closets (no doubt forced to by their wives) and when the moved and no longer had the room for all their girly magazines. Hell, there were even a couple of instances when someone died and bequeathed to me their collection. I don't know why, it just worked out that way.

Most of this stuff I keep in those 3 boxes, but sometimes magazines have a tendency to escape. Which is why I currently have the 2013 college issue of Playboy sitting on my desk in front of my right now. This issue of Playboy is the one that ratted me out to my wife and started her on the path of making me relinquish my porn collection to the dusty shelves of the garage. And thanks to my pussy-whippery, I have agreed to do just that.

So now, I am slowly taking my collection out to my garage. A process that should take about a week or two. After all, before I exile them I have to flip through every single one of them. A process that is very tiring.

However, it's not all in vain. I still have access to all of the vintage porn I want. I can check out all I want at Private Classics. I can not only enjoy the bushes of the 60s, 70s and 80s; but I can see all kinds of porn spanning the entire 20th century.

I guess in the end it is a good thing. I free up some closet space, make my wife happy and still have access to classic porn—only it's in a digital format. And besides, I think that all of those dusty porn magazines was giving me asthma.

Posted by David

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